So much hope in positivity…
I insisted that maybe I’m too critical, with a streamlined perspective that needed to change. I needed to open my mind and be more accommodating, “He’ll not come in the exact package you expected”. So, I ‘loosened up’, pushing the lines a little further so that I didn’t see them clearly anymore. You know what they say about black, white and grey? Let this blurry vision not cause me any trouble.
Maybe you’re not really good for me?
Because what’s this pain I feel in my chest? Fellowship with you should leave us both happy, but you know, for a while now, this has not been the case. I’m trying to cast my mind back and compare, just to be clear on how much we’ve touched on one another….you’ve been a nice addition to this side of life, but maybe, not meant for this kind of wife.
You’re so imperfect, you remind me of myself. I must be a wild dreamer to desire a better man. But don’t get me wrong, I’m very much on a journey and it’s clear to me the destination I’m headed. Your wisdom, your gait, your substance, your care.. I pray that very soon you’ll find love and an heir.
I just want a man who is better than myself, who’ll acknowledge my journey and vest himself notwithstanding. A teacher, a father, a lover, a friend. A true reflection of Jesus himself.
He’ll chase me through all of my failures and pride, he’ll hold me so dear to the centre of his heart. He’ll love like it’s all he was created to do, he’ll be the support I didn’t know I needed.
He’ll reveal dimensions of Jesus’ love to me, he’ll be the one that was gifted to me.
He’s not you and you’re not him, you’ve demonstrated this one time and again.